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The events of September 11, the Bali bombing and the coverage
of the war on Iraq have brought to many people’s attention
that children can be traumatised by being exposed to reports and
images from frightening world events.
This fact sheet describes some methods by which parents and caregivers
can assist children who have been disturbed by exposure to programs
in the media about tragic world events. It gives both general information
and specific tips for each age group, i.e. babies and toddlers,
preschoolers, early primary school, upper primary school and high
school. The fact sheet concludes with a reminder about managing
your own response to world tragedy and provides a list of useful
internet sites and references.
General tips for helping children with fear
If you are with your child at the time that they are exposed to
coverage that disturbs them, the more immediate your response the
better, in the first instance calmly removing them from the situation.
Following this, or if you become aware that your child is reacting
to something they saw while you were not with them, the best overall
strategy is to acknowledge their fear and reassure them:
- take your cues from the child. Don’t assume they are more
afraid than they may be. Conversely, don’t assume that they
are unaware of what has happened.
- take their fears seriously. Don’t try to talk them out
of it.
- respond calmly. Don’t exaggerate their fears by using
extreme language or by overreacting.
- answer their questions directly but don’t give them more
information than they are asking for or that they need
- provide physical reassurance with lots of hugs and touching
- make sure they know that it’s okay to ask questions
- manage the media diet of coverage according to their age.
Babies and toddlers
Research shows that babies as young as 12 months old can be influenced
by what they see on television. To protect them from harm:
- shield them from media reports as much as possible
- be aware that it is very hard for young children to make sense
out of what they see and hear and this can make what they see
even more frightening.
- be aware that sensational and disturbing images may be repeated
many times and keep the TV and radio off while your children are
awake. Repeated viewings will only make the situation worse.
- try not to show your own anxiety because children will quickly
pick up your feelings and know there is something wrong. While
they won’t know exactly what is going on, very young babies
and toddlers may pick up a parent’s worry and anxiety with
their “sixth sense.”
- give lots of physical reassurance.
Preschoolers
In addition to the above:
- limit TV coverage. Visual images can have a powerful impact.
- calmly explain that what has happened is in another country
and a long way away and reassure them that they are still safe.
- keep to normal routines, which give young children a sense
of safety and security.
- give lots of opportunities to play, draw and paint (without
guiding them). This helps children to deal with feelings.
- try not to discuss what has happened in front of them
- listen to their feelings and encourage them to talk about them
- give lots of physical reassurance. Understand that the child
will need more comfort, especially at bedtime.
- understand that behaviour problems may be part of their response
and give extra reassurance and support.
Early primary school
In addition to the above:
- keep the amount of television coverage seen by children of
early primary school age to a minimum, particularly where there
are graphic visual images
- instead of watching main news services, find out if your child
watches the ABC program BTN (Behind the News) at school, or tape
it yourself to watch with your child.
- if they ask questions about what they have seen, give them
information without unnecessary detail.
- do other activities at the time when you usually watch the
TV news, e.g. play games, walk the dog, go for a bike ride—things
that give your family a sense of togetherness.
- give them lots of opportunities to talk about their feelings
and their fears. Bedtime is often a good listening time.
- validate their feelings as real and acknowledge that something
very scary has happened
- let them know they can talk to you any time they are afraid.
- remind them that teasing or ostracising children from other
cultures is not acceptable behaviour
- a child of this age will be more aware of what is going on
and the reactions of other people. They will feel a great deal
of concern for their own safety and safety of family and friends.
Emphasise that they and their loved ones are safe.
- it is important to be honest with them. Tell them what you
know about what happened without exaggerating or overreacting.
Don’t assume that they are too young to know what is going
on.
- keep to routines that provide a sense of safety
- try to help them with their fears by talking through the issues
according to their age and understanding eg “Sad and scary
things do happen in the world but they are rare and there are
lots of sensible people who are working to stop things like this
happening”.
- most of all, stay calm yourself—this is what will make
the world feel safe for your children.
Upper primary school
Older children are at great risk because they know these events
are real but have not yet learnt to distance themselves as much
as adults or even adolescents can. A lot of the suggestions for
helping lower primary school children will still be appropriate
when they are in upper primary school. In addition:
- keep the amount of television coverage seen by children of
upper primary school age to a minimum
- children this age will be more interested in details. Share
what you know but don’t overwhelm them.. Explore their capacity
to start applying rational thinking to what they have seen.
- use historical examples (e.g. World Wars, September 11, Bali
bombing etc.) to explain that bad things happen to innocent people
but we still go on with our lives and resolve bad situations.
- it is still important to acknowledge and talk through and acknowledge
their feelings
- remind them that teasing or ostracising children from other
cultures is not acceptable behaviour
- children this age will be very aware of what is going on. They
may be prone to exaggeration. Jokes or humour can mask fears for
this age group.
- provide comfort and reassurance.
- some children may act out scary feelings or may become more
withdrawn. Talk with them and ask them to tell you about their
feelings.
High School
Young people are very aware of what is happening in the world
and often feel very vulnerable. Provide assistance in the following
ways:
- limit TV coverage to programs which provide a relatively objective
coverage of events with a minimum of sensationalised and emotional
content
- discuss the imbalance in what is portrayed and the other events
that are happening in the world that do not receive media attention
- remember that young people may still show their feelings by
their behaviour and may withdraw or become aggressive under stress.
It is still important to react to feelings behind the behaviours
rather than the behaviours themselves.
- respond to their feelings but also appeal to their rational
abilities to comprehend.
- it is important to talk about what has happened, to listen
to their feelings and share yours, but remember they are looking
to you and your response for their own sense of safety.
- remember that reactions to a crisis such as this may continue
or come back after the media response has died down
- young people in high school have probably already talked about
the event with friends. It is important to be honest with them
and let them know what is going on. This age may be glued to TV,
eager for news and details.
- acknowledge fear, sadness, and anger.
- some teens may also just block out the whole thing and refuse
to acknowledge that anything big has happened or that they care.
This often masks real fears and feelings of being overwhelmed.
- some teens may make jokes. Guide them to develop appropriate
humour around such events.
- some teens may be very interested in discussing broader issues
that this tragedy raises. Be willing to engage them in serious
discussions.
- be careful to avoid placing blame on a whole group of people
or targeting particular groups.
- use historical tragedies as a basis for conversation. Talk
to your teen about how the situation may be resolved in terms
of rescue workers, governmental responses, foreign policy changes,
etc.
Managing your own response to world tragedy
- try not to watch too much TV!
- it is important that adults also support each other. Talk about
your feelings with friends.
- remember that there are many, many people working together
to make the world a better place, and there will be many heroic
deeds happening during this crisis that will not be seen on TV
but which attest to the sane and good forces in the world
- keep up your usual routines and things you enjoy
- remember that you are the rock for your children no matter
what their age. If you keep calm and caring they will usually
be OK.
- if necessary seek help—if you are worried about your own
or a child’s immediate or ongoing reactions ask for help.
You could call the Young Media Australia Helpline on 1800 700
357 or your local health professional.
Useful links
Connect
for Kids: Help with the Healing, on the Web (US)
Discussing
the News with 3 to 7 Year Olds: What to Do? (US)
Helping
Children Understand Crisis and Trauma (US)
Helping
Kids Handle Tragic Headlines - Dr Sears (US)
How
to Talk to Your Children About the News (US)
Talking
with Children about Violence - also on Spanish (US)
Talking
to Kids about Tragedy: How to Respond to Fears, Questions (US)
Talking
with Kids About the News - also on Spanish (US)
When
Your Kids Hear about Scary News - Diane Levin (US)
Books and articles
Cairns, E. & Dunn, J. (1996) Children & Political Violence:
Understanding Children’s Worlds. NY: Blackwells.
Cantor, J. (1998) Mommy, I'm scared: How TV and Movies Frighten
Children and What We Can Do to Protect Them. US: Harcourt Brace.
Carlsson-Paige, N. & Levin, D. (1998). Before Push Comes to
Shove: Building Conflict Resolution Skills with Children. St. Paul:
MN: Redleaf Press. [Companion children’s book: Best Day of
the Week by Carlsson-Paige.]
Carlsson-Paige, N. & Levin, D.E. (1990). Who’s Calling
the Shots? How to Respond Effectively to Children’s Fascination
with War Play, War Toys, and Violent TV. Gabriola Island, BC, CA:
New Society.
Deskin, G. & Steckler, G. (1996). When Nothing Makes Sense:
Disaster, Crisis, & Their Effects on Children. Minneapolis,
MN: Fairview Press.
Garbarino, J. (1996). Let’s Talk about Living in a World
with Violence. Chicago: Erikson Institute.
Garbarino, J. et al. (1991). No Place to Be a Child: Growing Up
in a War Zone. Lexington, MA: Lexington Books.
Keller, S.F. (1988). Good Grief: Helping Groups of Children When
a Friend Dies. Boston: New England Association for the Education
of Young Children.
Levin, D.E. (1994). Teaching Young Children in Violent Times:
Building a Peaceable Classroom. Cambridge, MA: Educators for Social
Responsibility.
Levin, D.E. (March/April, 1995). Understanding and Responding
to the Violence in Children’s Lives. Beginnings Workshop: Violence
in the Lives of Children; Child Care Information Exchange. 102,
34-38.
Levin, D.E. (1998). Remote Control Childhood: Combating the Hazards
of Media Culture. (Wash, DC: Nat‚ Assoc. for the Ed. of Young
Ch, 1998). [See Ch. 7: “When Pretend Meets Real, Responding
to Violence in the News”.]
Marsh, C. (1999) Tough Stuff: How to Talk to Kids about Disturbing
Contemporary Issues, including Sex in the White House, Guns at School,
Drugs Everywhere, War, and More. NY: Gallopade International.
Obiakor, F., Mehring, T. & Schwenn, J. (1997) Disruption,
Disaster, and Death: Helping Students Deal with Crises. Reston,
VA: Council for Exceptional Children.
Terr, L.C. (1990). Too Scared to Cry: Psychic Trauma in Childhood.
NY: Harper & Row.
Trozzi, Maria. (1999). Talking with Children about Loss: Words,
Strategies, and Wisdom to Help Children Cope with Death, Divorce,
and Other Difficult Times. Berkley Publishing Group, 1999.
Related topics on YMA website
Related Fact Sheets
Contact Young Media Australia for your free copies
- Scary stuff: what scares children
- Watching the TV News
- Tragic World Events in the Media—Questions and answers
for parents
For more information call
Young Media Australia Helpline
Up-to-date and reliable information for parents and caregivers
about the impact of the media on children
1800 700 357 (national freecall)
24 hours a day / 7 days a week
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